Let’s talk about abortions

Let’s talk about abortions.

The problem with the whole abortion issue is that it is not one sided. Everyone thinks that it has to be all or nothing. It is not a black or white issue. It is very, very gray.

What about a happy medium?

It is a very complex issue.

First of all there is the concept of life. There are many different views about life. When does life begin? What happens after death? On one end of the spectrum you have people who believe that life begins at conception and when you die, your spirit lives on in the afterlife. On the total opposite end of the spectrum there are people who believe that this earth life is all there is. There is no God. There is no pre-Earth life and there is no post-Earth life. Then of course there are people who range everywhere in between.

So, you have people who believe life begins at conception arguing with those that don't even believe in an existence of a God (plus everyone else in between).

Then, there is the argument about taking responsibility for your actions. If you don’t want to have a baby then don’t engage in activities that would create one. This argument is one sided because in the 21st century there are many ways to prevent pregnancy - lots of birth control methods. However, none of them are 100% effective. Very responsible people have been responsible with birth control and still got pregnant. For example, when my husband and I were first married, we wanted to spend the first year just working on our own relationship and wait to have children. So, I was taking birth control pills. But then 8 months later, I had food poisoning and completely forgot that if I couldn’t keep food down, I couldn’t keep the medicine down either. I ended up getting pregnant. For us, it was no big deal because we were always planning to start a family, I just got pregnant a few months before we were planning on trying. But my point is, life happens and nothing is 100% effective.

There is the argument of the father’s rights. I know that there are men who have wanted to be fathers or feel like they should have been part of the decision. But then there are the men who rape women and shouldn’t have any say at all. Or the idea that there should be some kind of accountability on the father’s side.

Then there is the argument of how legalizing abortions actually saved lives because of all of the women who suffered from unhealthy abortion practices that harmed the woman and even threatened their lives. This is true. Many women suffered from terrible abortion practices. When I hear the stories of what some women had to go through, my heart aches for them. But on the other side of this argument: this is 2022 not the 1960s. Women are not looked at the same way as they were then. Working women, single women, old women, young women, it doesn't matter. There is no shame in giving birth (maybe by individuals but not society as a whole). We also have marvelous medical advancements! The morning after pill. Multiple forms of contraceptives. Babies can survive outside of the womb earlier and earlier.

I’ve also heard the argument about maternal mortality rates. Now, this is alarming. Mortality rates in general are decreasing worldwide. However, I read on ourworldindata.org that every day 808 women die from pregnancy related causes. Personally, I don’t believe the solution to that is abortion. It sounds like the solution to that is better health care. Countries with good health care practices have lower maternal mortality rates. As a matter of fact the article on Maternal Mortality on the ourworldindata.org website discusses how to decrease the world’s maternal mortality rate - and the thing mentioned is better healthcare practices. Not one mention of abortion.

Then there is the argument that I feel is the most important. Don't forget about all the women out there who would love to give birth but aren't able to. The gift of adoption is a great way to turn a bad situation into a good situation. There are waiting lists for couples waiting to adopt a baby. Women who are grateful for the selfless sacrifices other women make in order to make the gift of adoption possible.

In my very humble (and perhaps even not fully informed) opinion, I believe that before a woman has an abortion, there should be consideration for alternatives. They need to know all the options for keeping the baby. They need to know all of the options for giving the baby up for adoption. They need to know all the different options for abortions and all the risks of each. Sometimes women don't even know what all of their options are. I think of the movie Juno. She had decided that she wanted to get an abortion. But then she learned about other options. After considering all her options, she decided to bless someone else’s life with her child.

The mother should not only be informed of all of her options but the possible outcomes of an abortion (which I will now address).

On the other end of the spectrum I also think about the movie October Baby. I remember when I learned that there are abortion survivors! Survivors! I learned that there are babies who are born alive after an abortion and are then neglected until they die.

1 Jill Stanek Testimony Born Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act Hearing US Senate Judiciary Committee February 11, 2020 This article states that there are babies that are aborted alive. What does that even mean? A baby is born, and they let it die. That is not an abortion. It should not be called that. They are inducing women to go into labor prematurely and then letting the babies die.

Some “aborted” babies are miraculously saved and live to adulthood. As a matter of fact over 365 survivors have connected through this website: abortionsurvivors.org. You can read their crazy survival stories. Saline solution abortions that didn’t work and abortion pills that didn’t work. If there are babies being born after an attempted abortion, it makes me wonder. What is the abortion survival rate for the fetus? I can’t seem to find that statistic. I have a feeling that people who perform the abortions don’t want that information revealed. But that’s my opinion.

There is not a one size fits all answer. My heart goes out to all of the babies who are aborted and it has only been within the last 10 years that I even knew about abortion SURVIVORS and how sometimes "aborted" babies are left to cry until they starve to death.

I recently heard that some states are passing a law where anyone could sue anyone who performs or aids in an abortion. Fortunately a rapist can not sue someone for performing an abortion - BUT a relative of the rapist can?!?! What?! A women gets raped and her rapist’s mother can sue the doctor for performing the abortion? Wow! What is next? People who are against contraceptives can sue a doctor for implanting an IUD or prescribing birth control pills? And what about a D&C? What about that? If a woman has a miscarriage, which quite literally is a natural abortion, and she has a D&C to remove the dead fetus inside of her, is that considered an abortion? In my humble opinion? No. But I know women (myself included) who have had D&Cs to remove a miscarried fetus and THEN I found out that D&Cs are also used in abortions. So does that mean if you had a D&C you had an abortion? In my humble opinion, the answer is no, but I have heard of people who don’t make that distinction.

I believe in the rights of the unborn (and the aborted alive) but I also support the women who have to make that very tough decision (and to be perfectly honest I don't have a lot of sympathy for those women who take having an abortion lightly). There is a post floating around giving a list of very good reasons for some women needing an abortion. Someone woman was raped, a child was raped, through IVF a woman has too many viable fetus to develop safely, failed birth control methods, impregnated by an abusive spouse, a woman as an ectopic pregnancy, and the list goes on and on.

I am sure I am missing other points on either side. I am willing to listen and learn.

The bottom line is, it is not a black and white issue. It is a complex issue. I don't want to be in charge of making anyone else's decision but I also really don't like the idea of a 36 week fetus being aborted. I hate the idea of a “born alive” abortion. The important thing is that we don't insult others because they don't agree with us. The important thing is that we truly listen to the other person and try to, at the very least, understand their point of view without the need of insulting them. I know I take the time to listen and try to understand someone else's point of view, I would like that same respect in return. Sometimes when I ask a question, it is because I want to better understand that other person's point of view. Who knows, maybe if we BOTH listen to each other, one or BOTH of us will alter our own opinions - just a little or a lot. Who knows? We won't know until we listen and try to understand each other.

Okay. I am done giving my two cents.

Human Race

I understand Affirmative Action. I just don't believe it is necessary. If we truly believe race doesn't matter, why do we have to indicate our race on everything.

I get that there are groups of people who get discriminated against. I understand that Affirmative Action was the governments way of fixing that problem. seriously though, when did the government ever come up with a good solution. Personally, I'd rather get hired based on my qualifications than the fact that my employer just needed to hire more women. Now, I can see if a company had a difficult time choosing between two candidates who are equally qualified, then I could see how affirmative action could help with that decision, but I don't think it is necessary.

Now, I know a lot of people are prepared to tell me how I am wrong and we need Affirmative Action for all of those people who are treated unjustly. Just hear me out.

If (as Michael Jackson put it) "it doesn't matter if your black or white" (or Hispanic or Asian or whatever), then it why do we put it on all of our documentations? There are only a few places where I believe it is necessary to declare your race.

1) at the doctors - it is important to know because there are some diseases that are more prevalent in some races than others
2) Birth Certificate - as a form of identification which becomes necessary for my number 1 reason
3) Driver's License - as a form of identification because your race is a part of who you are.

I can't think of any other reasons but that doesn't mean there aren't any other reasons. If we ask for that information if makes it important. We are classifying people based on their looks, not their merits.

If we stop asking for people's race (and sometimes gender), then we people will start believing it doesn't matter. It won't  happen over night, change rarely does.

Right now it matters because of Affirmative Action. But take that away and you have employers looking at applications and resumes and identifying the most qualified individuals. Then you have them interviewing based on merit, not the color of their skin or whether or not they have a Y chromosome.

When we make those distinctions you are discriminating against someone. When I was in high school, I was looking in this huge book of scholarships. I was feeling discouraged because I couldn't find anything for me. When I found a scholarship for tall black girls I knew I wouldn't find anything for me. Where were the scholarships for short white girls?

Yes, there are jerks out there, There are people who won't hire someone because of the color of their skill or lack of a Y chromosome. But you have to admit, today, in 2016, there are less of those jerks than there were in 1966. Just think, what it will be like in 2066 if we look at people based on their merits and not the color of their skin.

What is my race? The human race!

Wait, What?

So, I was reading on the CDC.gov website and I noticed something peculiar. First of all, I was reading about childhood obesity. I read about how it is more prevalent in Hispanics. Then it talked about non-Hispanic blacks and I thought, "That's funny. I've never heard of a black person who considers themselves Hispanic, 'Hispanic black.' " There probably are some, I don't know of any, though, but that doesn't mean it isn't possible. Then it talked about non-Hispanic whites. A term, with which I am very familiar. I'm used to the comparison of Hispanic vs non-Hispanic white. Though, when I first had that option placed before me I thought it was a weird distinction. Why would that wording be used to describe me, but, oh well. Then it talked about non-Hispanic Asians. Then I thought, "Wait a minute!" Come on! When did we come to the point where we are describing ourselves as whether we are Hispanic or not? This was the United States of America's Center for Disease Control and Prevention website.

Now, I know that race becomes an issue when you discuss certain diseases. I get that. So, that is important to know. But why not say white, Hispanic, black, Asian, etc. Why the distinction of Hispanic versus non-Hispanic?

Come on, if you really want to be "politically correct" the United States of America declared their independence from England so maybe we should be calling everyone English vs non-English. Okay, well the colonists didn't want to be a part of England any more so maybe American vs non-American should be better. Oh, but wait! The Native Americans were here first. Why not Native Americans vs non-Native Americans. Oh, but that brings me to my other issue. There are people who claim to be native to California or native to Arizona or native to New York (I think you get the idea) but non of those people also claim to be native to America.

When and why did we start labeling people Hispanic versus non-Hispanic?

I'd appreciate your comments on this to help me understand. Not to ridicule, but to help clarify. Stay tuned - I'll be posting more about this issue.

Have you seen the latest post by Low Cost Styles?

Adults

I am convinced that one of the reasons why children have lost all respect for their elders is because their television shows depict adults as morons and children as the geniuses who know everything!

How many sitcoms have children doing all sorts of things and the adults (parents, teachers, store clerks, etc) are clueless about what is actually going on? How many times do children get away with things and the adults never do anything to correct the behavior?

Children need to grow up seeing strong adults leading by example. Entertainment has a strong influence on children. Young children watch those shows and movies and believe it is a reflection of reality. They don't have a firm grasp on the differences between fiction and nonfiction. . . yet. They need to see strong adults leading by example in real life as well as in the entertainment they watch.

Have you seen the latest post by Low Cost Styles?

Have you see the latest post on Mrs. Gardner's Blog?