The other day on the radio I heard about a two year old that was run over (and killed) by a recycling truck. I couldn't help but think of my own two year old and how she loves to dart out into the middle of the street. She knows she shouldn't do it and is punished every time she does. She doesn't do it all the time because she knows she isn't allowed to but every once in awhile she darts out anyway. Then she goes to time out and gets lectured about the dangers of the street and big cars that can't see little girls.
I feel for those parents. How devastating.
I read an article about a parent giving advice on how to avoid two year tantrums. There was a lot of good advice but there were some things that I disagreed with.
She stated that it is best to stick to strict routines and rituals. That is true, but you also don't want your child to go into a tantrum when something interrupts that routine or ritual. Let's face it, life doesn't always follow a routine. Things come up and and our plan for the day has to change and we need to teach our children not to throw a tantrum when that happens.
So, what is the solution? I have found when a child throws a tantrum it is because he/she feels like he/she is not being heard. They just want to communicate. We want them to communicate so we need to let them. Just because they tell us something or ask for something, it does not mean that they should get what they want. We, as the parent, can still say no to the request, but acknowledge that you understand what the child wants.
Not only that, but we need to also communicate to the child what we are doing. When it is time to turn off the television, don't just turn it off, tell the child what you are going to do, "Okay, it is time to turn off the t.v." Or give a warning, "When this show is over I am going to turn off the t.v." and then tell the child you will turn it off just before you actually do. A tantrum may still come but it will probably be less traumatic because you have communicated with the child.
If a child is begging for ice-cream, don't just say, "no." Tell him/her why. "I know you want ice-cream, but I am sorry, we don't have any," and then show the child that there isn't any. "You can have ice-cream but first you have to finish your dinner," would be another option.
Of course every child is different. Yes, have a routine so the child knows what to expect but also communicate with the toddler by listening, responding, and talking with the child.
Click this link to read more another article I wrote about toddlers and temper tantrums. Be sure to view the list in order to read the whole article.
http://www.examiner.com/article/the-two-year-old-s-plight-a-first-struggle-for-independence
The other day on the radio I heard about a two year old that was run over (and killed) by a recycling truck. I couldn't help but think of my own two year old and how she loves to dart out into the middle of the street. She knows she shouldn't do it and is punished every time she does. She doesn't do it all the time because she knows she isn't allowed to but every once in awhile she darts out anyway. Then she goes to time out and gets lectured about the dangers of the street and big cars that can't see little girls. 
