What is a Woman?

It seems so silly that this is a huge debate. Once again it is a polarized topic. A bunch of siths believing, "If you aren't with me, you're against me." I don't believe it is so black and white. Let me explain. 

First of all, there is nothing wrong with finding some common ground. That is how we come to an agreement. That is how we can learn from and understand each other. 

One side says, a woman is anyone with XX chromosomes. 

The other side says, a woman is anyone who says they are a woman. It is a social construct.

Yes! 100% a woman is a human being with XX chromosomes. Perhaps we should use the word female, to be more specific.

Here is where the controversy lies, which no one really seems to want to talk about.

Gender roles are what is really what the real controversy is all about.

The social construct is what our society has decided what is appropriate for women and what is appropriate for men. Before I go into that, let's talk about biology a bit. Just the simple basic biology everyone SHOULD have learned by high school.

Females can give birth.

Males are naturally stronger than women, they have a larger lung capacity.

In the mouth of babes, "Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina." (Thank you Kindergarten Cop).

Most everything else has nothing to do with that. 

Whether or not you like to wear dresses, make up, or high heels does not determine whether or not you are a woman. Whether or not you prefer your nails or hair long or short, doesn't determine your gender. 

So you have one side that has a very clear definition of a female (woman) because it is absolutely based on true biology. Then you have the other side that looks at the complexity of a woman's role and can't really define what a woman is because women are all unique and different and have their own passions. You can't say a woman wears dresses because some women don't like wearing dresses. You can't say they are mothers because some can't have children. 

Here's an example of what I am talking about. 

What is dinner?

Clear answer: A meal you have at the end of the day.

Subjective answer: Pizza

But here is the problem. Pizza can also be lunch, or even breakfast. So, not all pizzas are dinners. Likewise, not all dinners are pizza. However, if I were to tell you we were going to have pizza for dinner, that would be a correct answer because dinner is the meal you have at the end of the day and pizza will be our last meal of the day. We have people on one side clearly defining what dinner is and other people trying to describe all the different types of diners you can have and it is impossible to define all of them into a clear distinct answer. Try describing, pizza, pasta, chicken, hamburgers, and the hundreds of other possible things you could have for dinner into one statement. It is challenging and therefore they are stumped. So they say something like, "Dinner is what you have for dinner." 

Here's another example. 

If I were to ask you, what type of meal pancakes are, most people would say it is breakfast. However, some people have pancakes for dinner. That doesn't change the fact that pancakes are a breakfast food. It just means that sometimes we like to have breakfast food for dinner. And the fact that pancakes is a breakfast food is a social thing. There is not hard science as to why cereal is for breakfast, sandwiches for lunch, and pasta for dinner. It is how our society has evolved. 

So just because a person likes to wear a dress or makeup, that does not automatically make that person a woman. No more than eating pancakes for dinner makes pancakes dinner food.

It's gender roles, stereotypes, and opinions that we are really debating. That makes it difficult because there is no real answer to what all women like, enjoy, and do. Just like there is no way to describe all the different dinner possibilities into one statement. I hope I was able to explain that clearly. 

The real problem is what society is doing to the role of a man. That is a topic for another post.

Men

A while back I posted my thoughts on feminism. Well, now I want to talk about men.

I find it very sad that as we try to make strong role models for women, that men are being put down. Where are the strong role models for men? Why can't we have a strong role model for girls at the same time having a strong role model for boys?

Why is it that in sitcoms the dad is the "dumb" one and the mom is the "intelligent" one. Mom is the one who can balance a check book, but don't ask dad to do it! That's a role reversal right there! If you need help with homework, go to mom 'cuz dad doesn't know what he is doing! Another role reversal.

Why aren't boys doing well in school? Why should they? Entertainment media (movies and shows) are telling boys that they aren't smart. Men just aren't that smart. Well, that just isn't true, now is it? Of course it isn't!

Okay, so that isn't the only reason why boys aren't doing well in school, but don't tell me it isn't a contributing factor. . . 'cuz it is.

Let's create strong role models for girls without taking away the role models for boys.

Sure boys have their superhero role models and though they can get some great character building skills from those characters, they need to see real life role models. Men that they can grow up to be. As much as they would like to, the will not grow up to be Iron Man or Batman.

Feminists

I am a feminist, but not a feminist in the way you might think. Dictionary.com states that feminism means "advocating social, political, legal, and economic rights for women equal to those of men." Although I believe women should have the same opportunities as men (for the most part) and should get paid fairly for their work. I don't believe women should be treated the same as men.

I am a feminist in the fact I believe in women. I believe women should be all they can be. I believe women are special and should be treated as princesses. When I was younger I believed women were superior to men. Now I know that women are special in their own way just as men are special in their own way.

I am a feminist because I believe that their femininity should be celebrated. Motherhood is a marvelous gift. Breastfeeding should not be a taboo. Women shouldn't be afraid to talk about their menstrual cycles, miscarriages, labor, postpartum experiences, and menopause. Girls should grow up knowing how wonderful they are to be a woman. The should grow up defending their rights as a woman.

I am a feminist because I don't think women are equal to men. I don't think we should spend our time trying to erase the divide between men and women. As the kindergarten student so eloquently stated in the movie, Kindergarten cop, "Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina." Adding to his statement, men have a Y chromosome, women do not. Women have estrogen and men have testosterone. These are the fundamental building blocks for what makes us different to begin with. Instead of trying to take the gender definition away, let's clearly define it! If girls grew up celebrating their womanhood instead of being told they need to be equal to men, perhaps there wouldn't be as many rapes or battered women.

Now, I know this goes into the gender debate and I already have a post on that subject.

What I am try to say is we are all unique in our own way. I believe everyone, male and female, should have equal opportunities for school and work. That doesn't mean that I want my rights as a female to be taken away. I want to celebrate everyone for who and what they are. Everyone should be given a chance based on their merits not their gender. That doesn't mean that their gender doesn't mean anything at all. Don't take away my rights as a women just to make men and women equal, 'cuz let's face it. We are not equal. Men are naturally stronger. Women have the capability of bearing children. The differences in men and women are not meant to be a competition. It is meant for us to work together as a team.

I am a feminist because I love being a woman.